My favorite ceremonies are the ones that strike that sweet balance between lighthearted giggles and heartfelt tears. We’re not turning your ceremony into stand-up comedy - but in between the tear-jerking moments and the eloquent re-telling of your love story, there’s room for a few belly laughs.

Ninja vows are one of the most reliable ways to get everyone chuckling - and to add a little surprise and spice to your ceremony. If you’ve never heard of them before, here’s the full low-down…

What are ninja vows?

Ninja vows are when each partner writes vows **for the other person**, and those vows are read aloud *cold* during the ceremony. You don’t see what you’re about to read until your officiant hands it to you, which means the reactions are 100% genuine and usually hilarious.
Here is a video example.
These vows can be sweet, cheeky, or outrageously funny - as long as they stay respectful and rooted in love! They can be playful exaggerations, inside jokes your guests will understand, or very light, loving roastings.
Ninja vows aren’t for everyone, but for the right couple, they are absolute gold. So how do you know if they’re right for you…

Who should consider ninja vows?

1. Couples who want their ceremony to feel lighthearted and fun: If you want your guests laughing, smiling, and leaning in for the next twist, ninja vows deliver. They instantly set a relaxed, joyful tone and help everyone feel connected.

2. Couples who like the idea of vows… but not the pressure: If you want your serious, emotional vows to be private, you can share your real love letters before the ceremony - and then let ninja vows carry the fun publicly. You get the best of both worlds. That’s right - YOU CAN DO SERIOUS VOWS, AND NINJA VOWS!

3. Couples who are naturally playful: Whether you love surprising each other, poking fun in a loving way, or just keeping things unpredictable, ninja vows can feel very “you.”

4. Aussies: I don’t know why, but Australians live for this stuff. I’m Australian, and every officiant I know ‘down under’ have couples hopping on this idea on the regular.

Expert tips if you’re considering ninja vows

**Set the ground rules:** Before you start writing, have a quick chat about what’s off-limits.
Maybe you want to avoid toilet humor, ex-partners, sensitive family topics… you get the idea. Ninja vows are meant to be fun and playful, *not* a roast.
And one more important rule: keep it a secret. No peeking, no previewing, no “accidental” hints to the wedding party. The element of surprise is half the magic.
**Decide on tone + length:** Ninja vows work best when they’re short, punchy, and easy to follow. Think: 3–4 funny promises rather than a long, sweeping romantic monologue. Tone-wise, you can take them in a few different directions:
Sweet: “I promise to always bring you your water bottle, even when I’m already cozy in bed.”
Spicy: The cheeky, slightly mischievous stuff guests *love*… within reason.
Lightly teasing: Playful exaggerations, not sore spots.
**Start strong:** Your opening line sets the tone and is often where the first big laugh hits. Instead of diving straight into promises, open with something unexpected, dramatic, or delightfully silly. *(Remember: you get to make your spouse say whatever you want. Use your powers wisely.)*
E.g. “Rosie… wow. You are so hot. I’m honestly shocked you swiped right.”

4. Write the promises: If you get stuck, think about your partner’s endearing quirks, inside jokes (keep them accessible — guests should be in on the fun, not confused), things they do that you genuinely love (so you can make them promise to do it more), pet peeves that are charming enough to tease about, and “if you know, you know” moments that friends will instantly recognize

5. Discuss with your officiant: A fun, flexible officiant (hi, hello, over here) can help make sure the vows feel balanced, land well, and match the tone of the rest of your ceremony. I often review both partners’ ninja vows privately to ensure one isn’t 7 minutes and the other isn’t 27 seconds. Symmetry matters!

6. Deliver… On the day, your officiant hands over the vows, you read them aloud cold, and the reactions are priceless!

Examples of ninja vows

I promise, with my whole heart, to always rub your feet when you get home from a double shift. And not with fish hands, but a real, firm, loving pressure.
I promise to pick what to watch on Netflix in under 6 minutes, instead of spending 20 minutes figuring out what genre we feel like.
I promise to always let you think [dogs name] loves you slightly more.
I promise to make you my famous banoffee pie at least once a month.
I promise to put your keys on the hook when I find them in random spots.

Want some help?

Ready to bring some personality into your ceremony? Whether you’re dreaming up ninja vows, private vows, or something totally custom, I’d love to help. As a wedding officiant and elopement planner based in Squamish, BC, I specialize in creating ceremonies that feel warm, modern, and completely you.

Reach out anytime to check your date or chat ideas!

About the Author:
Jude Douglass is a full-time wedding officiant and elopement planner based in Squamish, BC, and the owner of Sea to Sky Officiant.
With more than 100 ceremonies each year - from mountaintop elopements to heartfelt full-wedding celebrations - Jude is known for crafting warm, modern, intentional ceremonies.